Being a Hockey Mom

By: Debbie Scott

Life in a hockey family…

I am so fortunate to have experiences as a hockey sister and hockey wife, but the most rewarding profession is my life as a hockey mom. I couldn’t have asked for a better network for creating lifelong friendships and co-parents for my children. The combination of fun, competition, social gatherings, failing and succeeding within this network helped us to raise our children as compassionate and hard-working adults. We are so proud of all our children, the spouses they chose and the children they are raising; I thank the hockey community for all its guidance.

From the ceremonial words of the person who married Bobby and me, “Life is like a hockey game. You work as a team, try not to go offsides, go to the penalty box when you err, and look for the long-term win.” Well, we jumped in and hoped for the best.

As a hockey mom, my day began after work preparing for the evening activities. We lived in organized chaos and I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. I know I was tough but I think my love and devotion showed as well.  Once we entered the rink there was an instant family waiting for us. There were coaches waiting to teach our children great lessons, teammates and siblings readily available to bond with all our children, and other moms I could socialize and share thoughts with.

I love that hockey is a family event. We get so busy in our jobs and our children’s activities that it’s easy to lose quality family time. Hockey is quality family time. We had so many family hockey trips, including grandparents, with car ride conversations and movie trivia competitions. Each year our family expanded with new teammates and parents we did not know before. As the kids got older, I just cooked for a large group because you never knew what other hockey players might be around. Knee hockey competitions were regular activity in our house. Topher and his teammates always included little brothers Max and Jake. We had a Thanksgiving Cup and Christmas Cup for the Scott Family Holiday knee hockey tournaments.

My three sons, Topher, Max and Jake, all played hockey and at many different levels. In hockey, there is a place for anyone who wants to play. No matter the talent, the drive, the opportunity, the commitment… there is a level you can play and receive life learning lessons.  Hockey gave me the opportunity to learn and appreciate all my sons for their strengths and individuality.

Although my daughter Jessi did not play hockey, her and I definitely bonded as the only two females in the house and side kicks at the hockey rink. Her gymnastics poem became the hockey message “What do you do when no one is looking.” Big brother Topher and his hockey friends watched out for her, making our job as a teenage girl’s parent much easier. Jessi now has three sons and I am very honored to pass the hockey mom torch to her.

I also look forward to sharing hockey mom knowledge with Emma, the mother of our first future women hockey players in the family, Paige and Lucy. Thank you to the Hockey Women of today for making the path for my granddaughters a better one.

I am a “to the point” person, but being a hockey mom taught me so many subliminal lessons as a parent. We can be the best role model we know how, but our children need to have their own experiences as leaders, teammates, friends and role models. As a mom, my first instinct is to protect and nurture, but hockey and Bobby encouraged me to let my children be accountable. I truly believe the balance is very important.

All I want for my children is to be happy and be the best version of themselves. You can’t always choose the outside influences for your children, but our odds were good in the hockey community. I am so thankful for the many coaches who taught my children to be strong and resilient. Lessons aren’t always positive, but they are still lessons.

Okay, I am crying now… Topher, thank you for this opportunity to share my thoughts, but mostly thank you for being the son, brother and husband that you are. With you first in line made it easier for me as a mom and hockey mom.